If I had it all to do again…

In the schools you go to as a child, you sit in classes where first you learn the lesson and then you take the test. In the school of life, it is the opposite. First, you take the test and then you learn the lesson.

Many people who go through challenging situations will say, “I would not wish to go through that again, but it was the best thing that ever happened to me”.

What they are referring to is the fact that they have learnt some important lessons and grown as a person through their experience.

Here is the poem “To Dance”

If I had it all to do again

And we never have it all to do again

But if I did have it all to do again

I’d take much more time to dance.

“Dance”, you say, “Who needs ballet?

Who needs to move and sway that way?”

But that’s not dancing, just moving that way

When you celebrate each day, that’s dancing I say.

When you dare to be you, that’s when you dance

When you fall and get up, that’s when you dance

When you can laugh at yourself, that’s when you dance,

When you enrich someone’s life, then you have danced.

For dancing is feeling that whatever place you’re in

Can be made into a place where hope can begin

Dancing is reaching again and again

For the best that’s in you……..that’s dancing, my friend.

By Dudley Weeks

Included in So Far To Go When We Get There, Copyright Dudley Weeks, 1992; and in

On Love and Change & Other Subversive Things, Copyright Dudley Weeks, 1999


Here are some guidelines for learning from experience

· You have some sort of planned or unplanned experience

· You express your feelings and clear your emotions

· You reflect on the experience and replay it in your mind – without justifying or condemning what happened.

· You describe the experience – tell a friend or write about it in a journal

· You ask yourself what you can learn from the experience – if it were to happen again, what would you do next time?

· You imagine yourself talking or acting in a more effective way

· Your rehearse of practice doing it in the way you desire

Whatever happens and however bad it seems, it’s important to be able to process your experience in this way to learn and grow in confidence for the future.

1. Change, Challenge and Crisis (What do you do when things look dark?) 

2. What’s In Your Cup? (What’s inside will spill over) 

3. The Good Child Handicap (Not about pleasing others) 

4. 17 Camels and 3 Sons (Finding your own solutions) 

5. The Injection Theory (Influencing others) 

6. Bringing Oxytocin Into The Room (The feel-good factor) 

7. Why Do You Care (Who’s in control?) 

8. Bubble Theory (It’s not all about you) 

9. Can You Sing And Dance? (Say Yes and thumb your nose at fear)

10. To Dance (If I had it all to do again I’d take much more time to dance)